My name is Jessica Toler. I am 24 years old, married to a Mr. Christopher Toler. We have a two week old daughter named Genevieve Kerry-Anne Toler, and we are both Wiccans.
I, personally, have been an eclectic Wiccan since I was in tenth grade. However, at that time, I was not allowed to practice my religion freely, because my parents were both Christians. They weren't terribly strict when it came to teachings of the Bible, they didn't proclaim every little sin would send me to hell, but I was absolutely NOT allowed to practice witchcraft in their house. I respected it, as I knew that to practice it in their house, without their permission, would be inviting bad karma into my life, so I made sure that my religious practices were kept outside of their house. I remember wearing a pentacle necklace one time, and my grandfather freaking out and telling the whole family. My mother made me give it to her, and she says she "got rid of it."
When I graduated high school and started college, I met some friends that followed a solitary path. We ended up getting together and forming a little "coven" of three. We met every Wednesday and in addition to learning more of the craft, it gave us all excellent excuses to hang out and eat junk food. My parents knew of the meetings, and they were fine with me going to them, as long as I didn't bring the materials, books or literature home (I bypassed this by keeping all my supplies in my car).
My second year of college, I starting dating a guy that I had been friends with for sixteen years prior to us dating. He was cynical and mean, but because I had been his friend for so long, for some reason I thought he'd be the perfect boyfriend. He made fun of all religions constantly, including my own, and so I stopped practicing while we were dating (I still regret it). After we broke up, I spent the next two years alone, romantically. I just was not ready to be put through the same heartache my last romance had put me through.
I spent this time to focus on myself, and the craft. Don't get me wrong, I went on a few dates, but they just weren't right for me. It was around this time that I started feeling very lonely. I had been single for two years, and dateless for months. I finally decided to ask the Goddess for something.
You see, before this time, I had never asked for anything. I did rituals for others (with their permission) and rituals of thanks for my family and friends, but had refrained for asking for anything because I didn't want to be greedy. I should mention, that at this time, my mother had become way more open minded. Let me digress for a second.
My aunt Kerry-Anne died in August of 2008. She had sleep apnea, and just stopped breathing in her sleep. She was only 36. My mother was devastated, and it was that day that she lost her religion. Don't get me wrong, she still considers herself Christian, but only as a label. She doesn't go to church, and I don't think she even prays anymore. She still believes in god, but her whole perspective on religion had changed so much, that suddenly I was allowed Wiccan books, an altar, and even supplies. The only rule still in tact, was the "No pentacles" rule. (My mother has an issue with believing the Hollywood portrayal of witches).
Back on topic though. I did a very simple thing. All I did was light a red candle, meditate, and pray to the Goddess that I would find the right one for me sometime soon, but at her leisure. It was the very next day (seriously, the next day) that I met my future husband, Christopher.
It started with a simple message. A "your cute" message via Myspace. I was turned off immediately, mostly because he used terrible grammar and there was nothing else in the message besides that. However, I was bored, so I replied with a "thanks." Things went from simple sentences, to full blown conversations. At this time, I checked his profile and saw that he was friends with one of my friends, and also that he was Wiccan. I was absolutely shocked. A Wiccan living in the Bible Belt was one thing, but to have one be male? That was just too good to pass up! We decided to met, and go on a date.
I was way to cynical to believe in love at first sight, but something told me that day that he was the one. I didn't say this too him of course, didn't want to scare him off, but I believed it. I was totally petrified of this new feeling. We started being exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend, and it was such a weird breath of fresh air since my last failure boyfriend from 2 years prior.
One day, we took a trip to a Spencers Gifts, as they are the only store around our area that sold any kind of Wiccan things. Granted, all they sold was pentacles, but that was better than nothing. We still had to drive 30 minutes away to get there. We each bought a pentacle for the other one, and what was weird was that we each picked out the exact one the other one wanted.
A few months later, he proposed. Down on one knee, outside. He gave me his pentacle necklace.
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